Among interesting trending Google searches, the lumber aisle exorcism was most irresistible to me

By Gary Abernathy

Help needed in Aisle 10 for a dead tree exorcism

Last Saturday, I went on Google to search for something, and the trending searches among Google users were so, well, interesting (to me) that I screen-shotted them. Here’s what they were, in order:

— salmonella outbreak frozen shrimp.

— human skull dragon man.

— microsoft windows 11 upgrade.

— tropical storm enrique.

— home depot lumber aisle exorcism.

— irs stimulus check child tax credit.

— covid vaccines delta variant.

— elon musk cryptocurrency dogecoin.

— sydney australia covid lockdown.

— j&j vaccine booster shot.

— queer valedictorian speech.

— tyler the creator lyrics.

— fandango tyler breeze.

— destiny xur location.

Now, there are several things on that list that might tempt the average person to say, “Hey, I’d like to see what that’s all about.” For you, it might be “salmonella outbreak frozen shrimp.” For someone else, maybe the “human skull dragon man” was most interesting. For yet another searcher, the “covid vaccine delta variant” might do the trick.

For me, though, what absolutely jumped right off my smartphone was, yep, the “home depot lumber aisle exorcism.” Right away, before looking it up, I tried to sort out the various possibilities. Why would an exorcism be taking place at Home Depot? Why would Home Depot be the place for a satanic possession? Wouldn’t Sam’s Club or Costco make more sense? And why, among all the aisles from which to choose — hardware, paint, kitchen, bathroom, lighting, tools, appliances — why would the lumber aisle be the place for an exorcism?

I finally relented and clicked the link. Up popped numerous stories from various sources headlining the Home Depot exorcism. Logic and experience told me that among all the news sources available, this was a story that the New York Post would find fascinating, and provide me with the most details. I think I was right, although details were still fewer than I wished.

From the NY Post:

Pennsylvania police claim they were called to a Home Depot on a report of “disorderly people having an exorcism” in the lumber aisle. The exorcism was for the dead trees and the would-be wood exorcists were escorted out of the building, according to a now-viral post from the Dickson City Police Department. … There were two people who took part in the exorcism, or whatever it was — and neither was charged…”

Hey, as a believer, I don’t take this stuff too lightly. Except for when we’re talking about an exorcism for dead trees at Home Depot. Then I laugh really hard.

So what would have tickled your fancy — and why are fancies so ticklish? — or piqued your interest among the list of Google search items above? Let us know by clicking the comment button right here.

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Sometimes it’s fun to do an interview and just agree

I got to chat with Hoppy Kercheval today on his MetroNews “Talkline” show about the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision on the Arizona voting law. As Hoppy noted, it might have made sense to invite a guest who disagreed with him, but we had fun agreeing.

Like me, Hoppy gets irritated when people invoke “Jim Crow” to complain about legal voting requirements. To vote, there’s nothing wrong with being required to prove you are who you say you are. It’s OK if voting takes a little pre-planning. And if a lot of people don’t vote, that’s OK too, as long as voting was available to every legal citizen. Apathy is not something we should try to legislate away by making voting practically unavoidable, as I argued in a Washington Post piece a while back.

Click below to watch the conversation.

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